The Fear You Won’t Fall

Hey everyone!!!!! 

It’s been a long time. October has come and gone and now we are into November!!!! 

School is still school, and I got my grades and am doing quite well (although there was one disappointment that I will have to remedy). My teachers and I are getting to the point where we can joke with each other and classes are getting way more fun than they already were. And my section is still very supportive and close. My friends have never been better actually and I’ve corrected some issues that I had with one of them, so it’s been a good few weeks (although I did crash and burn with a girl, figures).

Anyway, I’m soooooooooooo sore today, we played football in the park yesterday (about 14 of us on turf…… ouch) and then I had my high-intensity dance class today, I’m absolutely nackered (one of Scott’s sayings, means tired). English slang is by far the best slang I’ve ever heard. I love the little euphemisms and one-liners that I pick up from Scott, it totally tops American and Spanish slang. That was random. 

I went back to KU last weekend and had an absolute blast. Seeing all the boys was fantastic, and for most of us it was like we didn’t miss a beat. I also met a bunch of the new pledges and the ones I met were really cool, sort of made me wish they would have been around last year. I also got to see the fam!!! It was awesome to see all of them and eat some great homemade food and chat with Mom and Dad and Sis and my Cousins and Aunts and Uncles. It was a really good time. Mom and Dad are coming to the city this weekend. And you know what that means…… FREE SHOWS AND FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, they are more than just a wallet, although I’m stoked for the free stuff. I’m also really excited for them to meet my friends and see my hangouts and all that jazz. 

That $5 chinese I mentioned last entry has sort of become an addiction. I’m going to counseling for it now. I just can’t live without Sweet and Sour chicken. It’s a sad life I lead. Also, I’ve just discovered the amazing Arizona Drink Company. Tea, Juice, Lemonade, HUGE 23 oz. cans for a buck. Love it. 

I’m really excited for break so that I can have a few days to relax. I love classes, but my body is getting to a point where I really need to just take a few days (As of last weekend I have lost 25 pounds since I’ve been here!).

Like I did this summer, I’m going to post some pics of my friends so that you can get an Idea if I mention their names.

Hope all is well with you and thanks for the comments (especially you Welchie, I told you I would)

Once more into the Breach dear friends,



Cure for the Pain

Ahhh, my stressful stretch of classes is near completion. I finished my presentation on War Film and handed in my paper last friday. I think it went alright, as far as I could tell, but I guess I will find out soon enough. Today (Wednesday) I had two midterms, preforming a Haiku for my voice class and a monologue that emphasized the striking power of stillness in movement. I got very good feedback on both of them and think that at least a solid B should be in order (based on my teachers responses). I wasn’t entirely happy with how I did, but some of the stuff that I didn’t do according to my plan, ended up working quite nicely in the performance, so thats some weight off my back.

On Friday, I have a midterm in my Film Genres class, and then I leave straight from school and fly to Kansas City to spend a weekend with the Delts. I’m really excited to see everyone and just hang out. It will be a nice way to wind down my stressful week and also its coming at a good time to get a break from all my friends. I love them, but sometimes (especially with some of the more dramatic ones) a break is good and this is the right time for it. 

On Saturday and Sunday, 9 and then 12 of us had an awesome football session at the park next to our dorm. It was awesome, but the park is turf so I’ve got major burns. Also, I just got back from this awesome thing at our local gym, the most tired I’ve ever been. It’s called Fight Club and it’s put on by a pro boxer. I sweated all the way through two shirts. The most pain I’ve ever been in, but totally worth it. I’ve lost a bunch of weight and my friends here have even noticed the difference from when I first started.

Oh, I went and saw Jude Law play Hamlet and my world was sufficiently rocked. He was amazing, and as an actor, an inspiration to watch. Every thing that we are learning now, he puts into action, and he does it so fluidly and beautifully. It was amazing to watch, and he made three hours of Shakespeare remarkably engaging. Shakespeare is the definition of engaging, but only when it is done right. He’s fantastic and he deserves to be mentioned among the top actors of his era and of the time. 

I found the best store by my school that sells New DVDs for $5.99. So far I’ve bought: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Road to Perdition, 21 Grams, Elephant, Raging Bull, Some Like It Hot, and In Bruges. All of them are fantastic movies, and if you haven’t heard of one, I suggest you look them up. Some Like It Hot set the stage for American Comedy. GBU is what solidified Clint Eastwood as a super star, Raging Bull made Robert DeNiro, Road To Perdition is one of the only movies where Tom Hanks goes against his type (Good, likable character) 21 Grams has an amazing cast and an Academy Award Nominated Director (Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel and Amores Perros), Elephant was a sensation at the Cannes film festival and is directed by another Oscar Nominee (Gus Van Sant, Good Will Hunting, Milk) and In Bruges is a fantastic dark drama/comedy with an amazing cast. I know I’m a nerd. I also found $5 Chinese food right next to my dorm. Major Score.

Hope you are all finding every thing you hope for, and $5 Chinese.


I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Hey all.

The meat of my semester is up now. I’ve got two performances, a presentation, and a paper this week. Yikes. But, nothing I didn’t have to handle at KU last year. 

Speaking of KU, this last week is when it has hit me that my life is now different forever. And, unlike last year, I’m totally cool with that. Last year at this time I had a fairly big breakdown of wanting to be home and with my friends and all that stuff. But, I was on the pier by my dorm last night that overlooks Downtown Manhattan right under the Brooklyn Bridge, and I couldn’t help but think about how happy I am. How lucky I am. Sure, I’ve got some issues, but this is where I want to be, and I’m scared but its the kind of scared that excites you at the same time. The kind of scared that encourages you to take a few risks. The kind of scared that I’m going to need to keep inside of me so that I have a lot of motivation to do well. 

And this doesn’t mean that I don’t miss everyone. Of course I do. But, I was explaining to my friend Kelsey the other day that I don’t cry or get sad anymore when I think about my friends. I’ve come to grips with the fact that my friends were in my life for a reason, and I was in theirs. And just because I don’t see Kevin, Stevie, Dan, Austin, Jon, Nate, Brian, Frances, etc, everyday doesn’t mean its over. My friends have effected me and I them and thats what we were meant to do. The real friends will stick (like my real friends from high school did) and the other ones will fade and we’ll both be better for knowing each other. But I don’t weep for the loss of them. I remember all the fun crap I did with them that made them my friends. I can’t wait to be in Lawrence again in two weeks, but when I leave, I won’t leave thinking damn, I wish I was still here. I will leave thinking, damn that was an awesome year of my life. 

The one thing that I am sad about is the continued absence of any kind of romantic involvement from my existence. I realize I’m young, yes thank you for that, but my friends from college and high school are almost all seriously involved or have been and my family’s friends are the same way. But, i tell myself that it will come soon. I hope so. Wouldn’t it be awesome to fall in love in New York, that’s not cliched at all (undetectable sarcasm?).

But, I digress.

As always, I thank you for reading and I hope all of you are finding happiness and love, and know that if you’re not, that it will come when you least expect it. 

Man, if only I could follow my own advice


We Were Young

Golly Jeepers its been a while. I’ve been so busy. I’m living it up. 

Classes are going really well. I’m getting to the meat of the semester now and we’re only three weeks away from midterms. Outside of my apparently emotionally cold heart I’m doing really well in classes (At least as far as I can tell). I got a B+ on my first Paper for Film Genres class (another due Friday), I did really well on my first performance in voice (The title is an excerpt from my piece) and in other classes I continue to do well in class and seem to be really improving. 

My friends are great and we’re getting closer all the time. One of the members of our group has sort of had a falling out with the rest of us (My Irish Friend unfortunately). But I hope that sorts itself out because she’s really cool. I’m really getting tight with my roomie (Scott), my nextdoor neighbors (Alex and Connor), my fellow college attendee (Jophie) and the quartet of extra cool people from my section (Anna, Jae, Kelsey, and Duncan).

And it’s really fun still. My friend Taya, from Andalucia in Spain and from the Summer Program was in town this week and we went out for Cava (A fruity Spanish Wine) and Tapas (Little appetizers, we got Calimari, needless to say after I left her I picked up a burger). It was awesome to see her again, she’s one of the people that left a big impression on me in the summer. She’s unbelievably good-looking and one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and I’ve met some nice people. We had a blast and ran into Jay, our teacher from the summer, in the restaurant and chatted with him for ten minutes or so. 

I’ve just been really busy, sorry about keeping you guys in the dark. I constantly have some sort of small homework project and constantly over procrastinate and have mindless fun with my friends. It’s a blast and I’m living it up like a true college student should. 

Man, if only I could cry 


Long Time Coming

Wow, it’s been ten days since I last wrote for you all. Sorry for the gap, I assure you that there are good reasons behind it. 

This week went by so fast. Our section gained a student (Teodora, or Teo as we call her, from Canada via Romania), and we’ve had an amazingly emotional week and a half. In Actor’s Lab, we had to bring in an object that was significant to us. I’m not much of an object person, but I brought in my Fraternity Paddle. It is then that I realized that my life has been charmed. Everyone else brought in stuff that would make The Joker cry. I’ve heard stories about Mom’s being abused, 14-year olds getting cancer, teenage parents, Death from a Drunk Driver, kids being raped by their Uncle. Thats what I’ve been hearing on a daily basis. It rips your heart out. And yet, I’m finding it very hard to completely let myself go. I’ve shed tears, but I can’t really lose it. This school is going to screw me up emotionally, but that is one of the biggest problems I wanted to address when I came here.

These next few weeks are going to be really busy. We have our first real assignments in alot of the classes and we are going to have to spend alot of time on all of them. I’ve watched almost no football. It’s sooooo depressing. 

Last weekend Ann and Kris Coen from Wichita came to the city to visit a cousin and and we all met up in Times Square and ate at the amazing Carmine’s Family Italian. They got tickets to Next To Normal, which is one of the top shows on my list to see, but I couldn’t join them due to the amount of work that was due Monday. It was really good to see them though. Familiar faces are always welcome. 

I’m having so much fun, and I wish that I could write about everything that I do and about everyone that I meet, but it’s impossible. I barely skim the surface and it’s too long already.

I’m a little sick right now, just a cold but it’s annoying. My section is shaping up very nicely, with the exception of a few. We’ve had two teachers so far tell us we’re the best section they have and we always seem to be prepared and up to the task. I just found out that they are going to cut kids that they absolutely know won’t make the second year (based on grades, absences, attitude, etc.) in December. Intense. 

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

Did I mention that I love it?



I’ve been without internet for almost a week, which is kind of like Kate Moss being away from coke for a week (and not the pop). But, at long last it is back. 

Man, two weeks down. Two girls from my section dropped out yesterday, they couldn’t handle the pressure. Jaclyn from New Jersey and Thelma from Houston are no longer fellow students. Wow. I knew that some people wouldn’t make it, but dang, after two weeks? I don’t mind though because I want the people that are here with me to care about this as much as I do. 

By the way I LOVE IT!!! Not that I ever wouldn’t have. The classes are just do in-depth and teach you so much. Ruth Nerken, my acting teacher, is amazing and is really good at getting you to explore different ways to do pieces. Becky London, my camera acting teacher, is really knowledgeable about movie and TV sets and how they work as well as how an actor looks on camera. Pete Mattaliano, my Film Genres teacher, is crazy smart. He links film to politics and the condition of the world, and he’s a professional acting coach (His protege, Matthew Morrison, is a Broadway superstar and the new Star of Fox’s GLEE). Barry McNabb, my dance teacher, is the one I mentioned a few blogs ago, he was in the original cast of Phantom of the Opera, and choreographed for Bob Fosse and SNL as well as being Conan O’Brien’s personal choreographer. Connie Rotunda, my Actors Movement teacher, is a stage actress who trained with Moshe Feldenchris who is one of the leading minds on actors movement. Rebecca Lingafelter, my Voice and Speech teacher, is an actress that is an expert at on-breath technique and enunciation. Steve Perlmutter, is the resident Sanford Meisner expert, he is one of the most intriguing teachers I’ve ever had. All of them are great, although the only one I’m not quite in love with is Rebecca, I just need to understand the subject matter more. 

The school is great, the City is great, and the people are great. What else could I want? My friends here are really cool, and like the summer, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty quick. Then again, how can you not when you’re pouring your souls out in class and living with them? 

Our group went out on the town last night, and we had a ball. But, since money is an issue for the majority, we are probably staying in tonight. The group that was about twelve people has opened into a pool of about 20, with about 8 of us that are always together (Alex from Spain, Scott my roommate, Connor from Omaha, Lareina from Dublin, Jae from Indiana, Anna from Philadelphia, Jophie from Austin, and Me). It’s really fun. 

Also, my section, which I thought was going to be really bad, is getting way better. We are definitely not going to all be best friends, but Kelsey from Dubai, Andrew from St. Louis, and Duncan from Arizona, have become some of the 20 that join us on occasion. Some others are really cool as well, but there are 4 or 5 that really irk me for various reasons, and I’m not easily irked. 

Anyway, Jophie is coming down to play FIFA, so I will bid you adieu. 

Hope all of you are well, thanks for reading and thanks for the comments,


First Week… Completed

Man, If my readership gets any lower, I may just drop the blog altogether. Thank you to those who keep reading (Tell your friends! Just kidding, but really)

Anyway, I think I’m going to stop with the minute-by-minute update of my day and just talk about the stuff that was really cool, or noteworthy, or is just on my mind. 

The first week is done! It was uneventful for the most part, lots of sitting in class listening to syllabi, hanging out with friends way to late, and adapting to the attempt to save money. Classes will be very hard, in fact if I get an A, both the Professor and I will be questioned by the Academic team as to how. I have to keep a B- average to stay in the school next year (2.66) and yet I will receive a C if I meet all requirements and do everything right. Hmmm. 

I will worry about that more as we get into it. My sister, Megan, got here on Friday night and we’ve spent the weekend together. She got in at about 11 on Friday and we got to the hotel (Central Park South at 57th street and 9th ave) and left straight away for the Cozy Cafe Hookah Bar at 1st street and Bowery. We met most of the crew (Explained in my last post) there and had a blast until around 3. Saturday we headed to Times Square (Tourists galore… Gag me with a spoon, there is nothing I hate more than tourists that look like tourists, at least I try to fit in) and got half-price tickets to 9 to 5 which closed today. Allison Janney won the Tony for Best Actress and she didn’t disappoint. It was a great show.

That night we grabbed most of the crew again and, after a long delay caused by GIRLS TRYING TO GET READY AND TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATING THE TIME NECESSARY, we headed to 4th street and my favorite show from this summer, Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind, the ever-changing compilation show. This was my sixth time and everyone loved it. I talked to Erica, one of the company’s (The New York Neo-Futurists, look them up they are awesome and their star is rising) actors, and she told me to keep coming back and email her before I was coming, join their twitter page, and she added me to the list of people that would be able to submit plays for performance. So, basically if I write a good-enough short play, the New York Neo-Futurists will perform it. Damn.

Today Megan and I hung out by Central Park, then walked by Times Square again, saw All About Steve (I would have rather poked my eyes out with a butter knife, even though I really like Bradley Cooper) and ate at the famous Carmine’s Family Italian, which was awesome and left me with enough leftovers to feed the whole of North Korea. 

Tomorrow Megan leaves and I have to do some work and get some dance shoes. And of course catch up with my friends. Speaking of my friends, you know what I really dislike? The fact that when people leave their parents authority they think that they need to drink excessively for no apparent reason. I really like my friends, but most of them are almost blinded by some sort of dependence on alcohol, it’s totally unrealistic to have a weekend night without alcohol in their eyes. I just don’t get it, especially since these people don’t depend on alcohol to get them out of their social shell. They are actors, they are freaking crazy!! Just something thats on my mind that I have to learn how to deal with better. 

Oh, and another thing. For the first time in my life I find myself questioning my allegiance to the Minnesota Vikings. Brett Favre just may ruin the team I love. Damn you Favre, you are the Devil’s spawn.

Thanks for reading, It makes me feel good,